Hello forgotten blog :)

I seem to have finally found the piece of paper with my password and such on so I thought that I would share something that has been on my mind. There are many wys to say this... Pop your clogs, kicked the bucket, sleeping with the fishes etc. Haven't guessed it yet? It's death. Now I'm not usually one who is this concerned with things that are inevitable... But what I'm more concerned about is after death? Does heaven and hell really exist ? Is him high in the sky going to condemn us to eternal suffering? I'm an atheist so you have to understand I'm saying this with a slight hint of sarcasm.

But really?? Why create life when you must take it away once more?? Why give us all such productive lives with school jobs economy and all of this when it is just going to be taken away again? I mean it's not like I'm dying anytime soon or anything but I guess that I will just be one of the few know how many people are wondering.

What happens after life? And in particular what happens to arheists? Is their really a pearly gates or do we just all go black. Because I have to tell you eternity with a black screen just doesn't cut it for me. I think someone should probably die for a day if we can do it and find out... This inevitability that we could just be wiped off without any kind of left behind but a tombstone or an urn and or loved ones who would join us soon enough.

I'm hoping it will be like a dream, were everything is fine and we are with the people we love in our own dream. And as eternity wears on we are just there in our own little pocket of sub reality... Just dreaming...

Care to share some light on the matter? No pun intended

some people need to let things lie

hello and welcome to the world stupid contest and the award goes to..... me!!!

jesus christ i took him back thats why .... and he dumps me again after 3 months

ok so it was a couple of weeks ago but im sick of people asking me who,what,when,where and why and doesnt it bother me... its only bothering me now because people wont shut up about it

i have honestly had to come to a realisation... sometimes friends make everything worse and make you overthink things wayy too much.

maybe im being stupid, wouldnt be the first time... he said he cant give me the commitment and attention i deserve, then goes around and chases girls who dont look at him twice... idiot

guess im a bigger one though. i actually thought we would go past 3 month but we didnt, im so naiive and so stupid for actually believing that we would. he tells me he loves me then 2 days later dumps me. i am so sick of putting my head and my heart in the firing line just to get hurt again... should just play a game of russian roulette with the guy. it would be way less painful than all of this. he wants me to be his friend and i am in a way but another part of me just wants to slap him and bring his head back down to earth. it just seems that we were going to work this time and we didnt.

well some of my friends will be happy to know that im not doing it again i just want to stop this pain... maybe im better off on my own, or atleast not being with a lad that will treat me like this. hes admitted to being a commitaphobe but i said i guessed already like 2 month ago and i could try and help and he does this... im over him i just needed somewhere to vent seeing as my friend brought it up AGAIN!!

ok i am slowly going insane in here.... i feel like its a bloody mental institution

my mother is treating me like im a little baby or just retarded, my sister is refusing to be anywhere near me and my brother and kevin just grunt and leave me to it.

i have run out of things to do and i swear to god i am getting cabin fever. i couldnt even go and get a spray tan today because i was too ill. heres a clue if i can walk and can stand properly im not that ill idiot!! also heres another thing i didnt even want the stupid thing i just wanted to get out of the house. Ive been stuck here for 2 days now. Swear to god dont know how people on the dole do it, being stuck inside the house all day. i'm going out of my mind!!

not sure

so yeahh im thinking about growing my hair but i dont knoww, there are 3 options... how it is now, how it was before i cut it shorter and long... but i dont know

the top set is how it is now

the middle set was how it was before the recent cut

the bottom set was the long hair









what do people think which one should i go with?... ps sorry about the bad layout its not working at the minute

photo day

i made it! but now i have to finish a full pe coursework by thursday and we have photo day tomorrow :-O... i hate photo day you always look stoned or something and you always have a dodgy smile.

dont like saturdays

ok got a lot to do today... which is why i am up at 7.30am on a saturday... well first i have a doctors appointment at 8.45, then dancing at 11.15 to 12.30 then i have to go shopping for my friends present and something to wear :/ then actually go to her party.

why cant things be on a sunday as well

ok for those of you who havent read breaking dawn i will warn you that this post contains spoilers!!










Ok you know what never really got me about breaking dawn?? How the hell do they have a baby?? Hello no blood and I'm pretty sure that general area of Edwards needs blood to work really. and why would the baby be like superhuman at growth... if it was half human half vampire shouldnt it really slow down growth because vampires never age?? Im not trying to cause a problem here I just think that meyers has really messed the plotlines up altogether. I can understand the marriage because that can still happen, also the blood drinking i can understand with it being half vampire it needs blood obviously. Then Jacob imprints on renesme... i think theres unresolved issues there people!! personally i think that he still wants mommy but cant have mommy so has baby.. Sicko... I am talking about the characters not the actors ok.